Motherhood

I gave birth to Anderson naturally. I labored for 10 hours and pushed for 3 hours. He came out at 9.2 lbs with a 16 cm head. He broke my tail bone, tore my rectal muscle and left me with permanent tissue swelling/ scarring, fissures and levator syndrome. Caralynn was breech so I was required to have her via c-section. While stitching me up, the dr stitched a nerve which caused excruciating pain for 6 solid months after she was born. During Emmalee’s c-section, my epidural failed. I could feel everything and began freaking out and went into shock. I had to be knocked out and when I woke up I had no idea what had happened. I am in awe of what my body has endured and all the pain was worth it. That being said, I cannot go through pregnancy and labor again. Motherhood goes so far beyond those moments when I feel like I’m going to break and fall apart. Motherhood is nothing like I ever imagined and everything I never knew to hope for. Happy Mother’s Day to all who inspire me to be a better mother. 

 Patrick made my Mother's Day AMAZING!!!!!

 My kiddos are so sweet!

 Real talk: I am officially done having babies. It was a really hard decision to have to make. Pregnancy and birth is hard ya’all. I will be 38 years old on Friday (did I say that out loud?🤪) As most of you all know I have maintianed my weight for 2+ years using ketogenic shakes and maintaining a ketogenic diet with a lot of cheating along the way. I love being able to quickly and efficiently get back on track. That being said, I am getting back on track with exercising. I decided to try Barre workouts online and I can feel the burn!!! I am posting this for accountability and motivation to get my booty in gear!

 To Anderson who is kind, mindful of those around him, an amazing friend, helpful, aims to please, snuggly, intuitive, smart and loves to explore the world around him to its fullest. To Caralynn, our wildflower. Our spunky, strong willed, energetic, talkative, caring, creative and imaginative whirling dervish who doesn’t waste a single opportunity or moment to have the most fun possible. To Emmalee, our saving grace and miracle. She is cuddly, smart, affectionate, shy, determined, sweet, independent, silly animal lover who has us all wrapped around her little finger. These moments spent with our kiddos are so meaningful. We love them and want what’s best for them always. Some moments we struggle to communicate appropriately or effectively. Some days we fall short in being kind and loving to one another. Some evenings feel rushed and chaotic. We bask in the happy moments and learn from the trying times. We keep in mind that our attitude towards life determines life’s attitude towards us. We have the ability to learn and grow from our inconsistencies. We remember that we can change our path and be better than yesterday, let go of today and all will be well in the morning.